comfort.

I've currently been enjoying this book on my lunch breaks over the past couple of months. i am thankful that when i have picked it up, it is exactly what i needed to hear that day or week. i was encouraged by the truth of what i think my problem has been lately. if you've been on here, you might have seen little venting sessions of my frustrations. i've been struggling a lot lately, trying to really pin point the root of my issues... then this word spoke straight to my heart and called me out... 

"...we spend too much time meditating on ourselves, our work, our growth. We have little hope for change because our hope is grounded in ourselves, in ho we're doing, in whether God is proving his love by granting us every trifling desire or delivering us from heartbreaking trial. We've been deceived into believing that his love is passe, something we've already comprehended. It bores us." 

I've been doing a weight training program and am currently halfway through. while it's been a process, i've seen results which push me to keep on persevering. earlier this year, i basically gave my life to clean eating and again, the results have shown the benefits of such a lifestyle. discipline and self-control have been the name of the game for me in 2012. while i'm definitely not perfect, i have for the most part, learned how to really be good at it. yet, when it comes to my relationship with Christ, i have had the tendency to treat it as such. a program. a step by step formula of exercises (going to church), and eating a healthy diet (random verses of the day, motivational christian type quotes, etc.).  i end up leaving my 'quiet time' frustrated and restless. umm hello, this is not at all how relationships work! love is not a formula. but for some reason, i continue to treat it as such. and i have been reminded how much my mentality continues to rearrange the Gospel.

like i said before, i need reminders of the most simplest truths constantly. this all might be obvious for a lot of you. and there's no doubt that i too know such things, but as a list maker, box checker, and full blown planner of my days, i've grown into this habit of pretty much depending so much on myself to change; to grow. my life has been in my hands, and my hands alone; i have been in control instead of letting Christ pursue me and lead me into a relationship that changes me. i hope, if you are like me, that you can find comfort in the truths of these words; let go of the control, the planning, and the formulas.

let Love change you.