comfort.

I've currently been enjoying this book on my lunch breaks over the past couple of months. i am thankful that when i have picked it up, it is exactly what i needed to hear that day or week. i was encouraged by the truth of what i think my problem has been lately. if you've been on here, you might have seen little venting sessions of my frustrations. i've been struggling a lot lately, trying to really pin point the root of my issues... then this word spoke straight to my heart and called me out... 

"...we spend too much time meditating on ourselves, our work, our growth. We have little hope for change because our hope is grounded in ourselves, in ho we're doing, in whether God is proving his love by granting us every trifling desire or delivering us from heartbreaking trial. We've been deceived into believing that his love is passe, something we've already comprehended. It bores us." 

I've been doing a weight training program and am currently halfway through. while it's been a process, i've seen results which push me to keep on persevering. earlier this year, i basically gave my life to clean eating and again, the results have shown the benefits of such a lifestyle. discipline and self-control have been the name of the game for me in 2012. while i'm definitely not perfect, i have for the most part, learned how to really be good at it. yet, when it comes to my relationship with Christ, i have had the tendency to treat it as such. a program. a step by step formula of exercises (going to church), and eating a healthy diet (random verses of the day, motivational christian type quotes, etc.).  i end up leaving my 'quiet time' frustrated and restless. umm hello, this is not at all how relationships work! love is not a formula. but for some reason, i continue to treat it as such. and i have been reminded how much my mentality continues to rearrange the Gospel.

like i said before, i need reminders of the most simplest truths constantly. this all might be obvious for a lot of you. and there's no doubt that i too know such things, but as a list maker, box checker, and full blown planner of my days, i've grown into this habit of pretty much depending so much on myself to change; to grow. my life has been in my hands, and my hands alone; i have been in control instead of letting Christ pursue me and lead me into a relationship that changes me. i hope, if you are like me, that you can find comfort in the truths of these words; let go of the control, the planning, and the formulas.

let Love change you.

thoughts & a quote...

after that last post, i definitely feel so much better. there's something so relieving after getting all the junk out that's been stuck inside of you. sort of like throwing up...yay? i'm feeling much better now even though my situation is the same. i still wake up at the butt crack of dawn and work my butt off 6 days a week, but there's something that i think i was missing before...i failed to keep in mind how proud of myself i should be. sometimes life will be tough, but that's not always going to be the case. sometimes the hardest things are worth all the fight we put into it.  as obvious as this truth might be, sometimes i need a little bit of a pep talk to get my head back on straight. so a big shout out and thank you to my sweet man who sent me these words of encouragement:

"I know this is hard but trust me, 

it will feel great when we finish because we followed through on our commitment 

and didn't quit when it got difficult, 

but instead rose up, dug deep, and persevered. 

And that builds character. 
I couldn't be more happy or proud that we are doing this together.

 Thank you for inspiring and encouraging me to do great things!"

so despite myself and my negative attitude monday, i want to encourage you in whatever you might be facing today. that whatever situation you are going through, no matter how ugly and dark it might be, you are not alone. sometimes the most beautiful things in life come from the hardest moments we have ever had to face. so keep your chin up and press on to finish this race. i saw this quote floating around and thought i'd share in light of everything...be strong! 

Love first.

**stole this from a friend of mine. not sure where she got this from,but I love it. 

I made her. She is different. She is unique. With love I formed her in her mother’s womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her. (Psalm 139: 13-16).

I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her. (Psalm 139:17, Zephaniah 3:17).

I made her pretty and not beautiful, because I know her heart, and knew she would be vain. I wanted her to search out her heart, and to learn that it would be me in her that would make her beautiful, and it would be in her that would draw friends to her. (1 Peter 3:3-5).

I made her in such a way, that she would need me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be only because I need for her to lean and depend on me. I know her heart; I know if I had not made her like this, she would go on her own chosen way and forget me her Creator. (Psalm 62:5-8).

I have given her many good and happy things because I love her. (Psalm 84:11, Romans 8:23, 37, 39).

Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart and the tears she cried alone. I have cried with her and had a broken heart too (Psalm 56:8, Psalm 34:18).

Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone only because she would not hold my hand, so many lessons she’s learned the hard way because she would not listen to my voice. (Isaiah 53:6).

So many times I have set back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone only to watch her return to my arms, sad and broken. (Luke 15:7).

And now she is mine again. I made her, and then I bought her because I love her. (Romans 5:8).

I have to reshape her and remold her to renew her to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or for me. (Jeremiah 29:11).

I want her to be conformed to my image. This high goal I have set for her, because I love her. (2 Corinthians 2:14).

before i go to bed

so thankful for the Word tonight. 

so thankful that as i read more of the Scriptures God seems to be erasing purifying my thoughts.

many moments i have been left feeling very discouraged, 

thinking i am doing everything wrong. 

BUT He is wanting to change me through His Word and not my failed attempts at pleasing Him.

so thankful that the Word calls me out of my misconceptions & comforts me.

God doesn't just leave me to figure this out on my own. 

{half of the time i act like He did}

for "who can discern their own thoughts?" 

He gives us His Word because He cares so much. 

SO many times i take it for granted & hardly consider it precious. 

But i love the way David speaks about the Word God has given us. 

"The precepts of the Lord are right,

giving joy to the heart,

the commands of the Lord are radiant

 giving light to the eyes." 

i take for granted the help that this Word can bring & how it constantly promises to restore our souls & renew our thoughts to be pure. i know these things might be so obvious & not at all a huge discovery, but like i said, God has been breaking everything inside of me down to renew my thinking and i'm just overwhelmed with gladness for this help. 

goodnight, 

tina

a few good words

the other morning on my way to work, i caught myself being completely lost in anxious thought over my yesterdays. lately, i have developed this bad habit of worrying....

not necessarily the typical worry about finances, relationships, self-image, but more consumed with thoughts like "i should've done this/that yesterday" and feeling strangely unsatisfied & disappointed in my yesterday. the point is, i've been worrying about the past. something i definitely have no control over even if i tried. where did this come from? i have no idea, but i do know that in the midst of my stomach twisting in upseting thoughts, some scripture popped in my mind that immediately allowed me to be free from all that worrying i had been doing.

this isn't anything deep or a miraculous discovery, but you know sometimes you hear something once and it kinda sounds nice, but then you hear it again, and it's words change you somehow.. so that's what this scripture did for me, and i thought i'd share and maybe bring some enouragement to your day.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

this word just seemed to call me out of my sillyness of worrying about things that already happened. if the Lord has the ability to demonstrate new mercies, new love, new grace to me each and every single day, despite my sinfulness, then what am i doing becoming anxious over my yesterdays? what happened in my yesterdays is over and done with. and honestly, right now, i couldn't even tell you what i was even worrying about. 

...silly tina.